So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
