Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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