my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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