Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
