I looked at my own cervix.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
