you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
