When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
