i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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