I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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