Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
