My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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