Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
