you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
