Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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