god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
