Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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