She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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