:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
