i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
