There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
