Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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