my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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