Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize