Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
