I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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