why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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