All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
