You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
