She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize