508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
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If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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