We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
