I want you more than these girls want KFC
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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