Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
BRING THE BAGELS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
