Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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