i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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