I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
