My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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