life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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