Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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