Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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