i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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