it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter