This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
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Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.