Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.