Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
