I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
