There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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