I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
