Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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