So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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