I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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