actually, I'm a sock model
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
