THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
