so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
cat food counts as protein by the way
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
