seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
