overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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