dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
