My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
