either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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