he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
