Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize