RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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